To begin, let me back up even a little further. Rich and I have been together for over 6 1/2 years. We began our relationship on December 9, 2001. Rich is a lawyer. I am an actor and an indoor cycling (spinning) instructor. We started talking about the possibility of having kids in the first year or two of our relationship. Fortunately, we were on the same page in regards to having children. For something I thought impossible for me after having come to terms with my sexuality, I was so excited to even think about the possibility of having kids someday.
As time went on, the talk of starting our family became more serious. We began the research necessary to determine exactly how we could go about doing this. We both agreed that we wanted to have our own children, so surrogacy was the path that we chose. Our first step was to attend a resource fair at the Pop Luck Club in West Hollywood. This is an amazing organization which I highly recommend to anyone interested in learning about all options to gay parents in regards to starting a family.
Over the next few years, we read more about surrogacy and egg donation. We agreed that we wanted to obtain eggs from a donor and then have a different woman, a surrogate, carry the baby or babies for us. Yes, we were even considering twins at this time. I always wanted twins. Growing up, I often wished I was a twin. Well, when dealing with egg donation and surrogacy, the possibility of having twins is definitely increased.
We began to research surrogate agencies and egg donation agencies. One of my indoor cycling clients referred me and Rich to Will Halm who was one of the founders of Growing Generations, one of the foremost surrogate agencies in the world. We decided to go with Growing Generations for our surrogate agency. They are based in Los Angeles. We chose A Perfect Match, based in San Diego, for our egg donor agency. The wait for a surrogate match would be up to 6 months. During that time, we chose our egg donor from the online profiles of A Perfect Match. This can be an overwhelming task. It is rather surreal to know that you are basically choosing half of the genetic makeup of your child or children. No pressure here! You get to see pictures of the donor and her family as well as her grades and medical history. You even get to see her family history up to 3 generations! This is really amazing. You get to know if her grandparents are still living, their ages, and if they have passed away, you get to learn how old they were when they died and of what cause. This is so not a light choice to make. Knowing all of this makes the decision somewhat easier!
After Growing Generations found a potential surrogate for us, we met her and her husband. This meeting is necessary because you have to determine if you are all in agreement as to how the surrogacy will proceed. You have to discuss all the possibilities - good and bad. If everyone is in agreement and your personalities click, then the process begins. Rich and I were so fortunate to find our surrogate. She is married and has two children. They do not want anymore children of their own. They live just outside of Oakland, CA. She is very good at being pregnant and her deliveries were very easy for her. This is something at which she is good! And she has two adorable kids - a five year old boy and a 2 year old girl. It is very obvious that she is a good mother!
So, we now have the egg donor and the surrogate. The next step is to get the two women on the same cycle. The egg donor is stimulated to provide as many eggs as possible. Then, the eggs are collected and fertilized in vitro. This is where Rich and I make our contribution (if you know what I mean!) The embryos are grown for 3-5 days before they are placed into the surrogate. The strongest, most viable embryos are selected of course.
We made our first embryo transfer in September. We transferred 3 embryos. Unfortunately, none of them took. It would be a month or two before we could try again. We went through the process again and this time transferred 4 embryos in December. We were successful! 2 embryos successfully attached themselves to the uterine wall of the surrogate! We found out the week before Christmas that we were pregnant! We found out just before New Year's that we were pregnant with fraternal twins! Yay!
Rich and I were fortunate enough to attend the 8-week ultrasound. It was amazing! Being able to see the teeny tiny lives inside of the surrogates womb is truly a miracle...a marvel of modern science! Here is a picture the babies at 8 weeks:
And here is a video from the 8-week ultrasound where you can actually see the heartbeat! (the little girl's voice in the background is our surrogate's 2 year old daughter...so cute!):
Rich and I were also lucky enough to attend the 20-week and 32-week ultrasounds as well. At the 20-week ultrasound, we found out that we were having twin boys!
Here is our favorite video from the 32-week ultrasound. It shows one of the babies (Baby A) with his hand in his mouth. He then takes his hand out of his mouth and appears to chew. Amazing!
Well, we are currently at week 36. The full term, 40-week due date is August 23rd. However, twins are almost always early. For the past several months, we were under the impression that the expected due date for our twins was at 37 weeks on July 31st. Recently, our surrogate's OB suggested that the expected due date could be at 38 weeks on August 10th. This past week, the doctor suggested that they could even go full term! The twins seem to be healthy and in great condition and position. So unless something changes, we may not get to meet our boys for almost a month! Well, the longer they stay inside the womb the better for both health and developmental reasons. But I have to say, we could certainly use the extra time to get the nursery in better order! So, this is how we got to where we are today. This is the first chapter (long overdue)! I tried not to write too much, but I hope this enlightens you to the path that Rich and I have traveled thus far. It has been an exciting journey...and the journey has only just begun!
